Even the Sanest Loses Perspective...

I don't know what it is about dance that makes parents lose perspective; but, I see it happen on all levels, "Stage Mom/Daditis" seems to be indiscriminate in who it afflicts.  It doesn't care if the parents are socialites, executives or working class--none of us seem to be immune.

For me, I try to remember that and talk myself off the ledge before I do something I regret.  Trust me, it's a daily struggle.  Like most parents, I wonder that my child has fallen out of favor with the instructor when the instructor pays more attention to another, I worry when I see her chatting in class or heaven forbid having any form of fun.  Most of the time, I keep it in check.  But, we all have those days...and those are the days that haunt me.

My Momma Rose moments always come when I do the following:

1.  Listen to other parents about their own children's accomplishments and compare my kid's to theirs.  This just taunts the green-eyed monster that lives inside.

2.  Watch a rehearsal or class.  No good can come from this.  It seems like I always wind up questioning the teacher/artistic director's decisions when it comes to my kids.  Why are they 3rd in line?  Why are they not catching onto the choreography?  Why does he let that goofy kid have the role, when my princess can do it so much better?  It's an ugly/petty world that seems to build inside my head.

3.  Failure to live in the now.  This is a difficult one.  It is important, that we are proactive with our child's dance education, but, when we spend too much time obsessing about the future and what steps they need to do to become the next Natalia Osipova/Gillian Murphy/Sterling Hyltin (insert your favorite dancer here),  we become anxious.   A ballet career is a marathon, so expecting miracles in a 90 minute class or even in a month is unrealistic. 

4.  Spend too much time thinking about the time or money I spend on my children's dancing.  The first of the month is always a reality check when we pay bills.  In that week, if my kiddo is feeling unmotivated, or complains, I find myself thinking that it is a good time to pack up our toys and go home and have a "normal life".

If you were to meet me, you would most likely see me as fairly pulled-together, patient, loving mother, but trust me there is crazy down there.  When it comes to our kids, there is crazy in all of us.  Most of us just try to keep it inside, when it gets out, we regret it.  For myself, I have established the 24 hour rule before I complain to anybody else.  It seems to keep me in check.  What's your rule for keeping it together?